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An Ode To Camping

I decided to go on a camping trip, I went out and bought a small tent
I threw in a couple of camping chairs, And looked round for somewhere to rent

I searched all available places, I looked in the papers and mags
I wanted to camp at the weekend, And I'd packed up the car... and my bags !

I searched and I searched for a campsite, But I couldn't find any to suit
I wanted to take my old beagle, But no one would let me take root

So I sat with my head in my hands, And thought my chances were gone
When somebody sent me a web link, For last ditch pitch dot com

I found just the thing in the country, By a lake and quite close to a zoo
So thanks to last ditch pitch dot com, I couldn't have done without you

Sent in by
Diane Gibson
Elland, West Yorkshire.

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Don't forget the best anecdote of the season wins a prize, and this season it's a radio alarm clock.

You Must Be Joking

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".

Watson said: "I see a fantastic panorama of countless stars".

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a moment: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow... Why? - What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a moment then spoke: "Someone has stolen our tent Watson."

Sent in by
Linda Kirman
Doncaster, South Yorkshire